Review: We-Vibe Bloom Remote-Control Kegel Balls 🏀

we-vibe bloom

I’d like to start this review off by saying that I’ve never tried any type of Kegel exerciser in my life, although I have been a practitioner of the pelvic strengthening technique for quite sometime.

When I first started masturbating, I would naturally clench down with my pelvic muscles while reaching climax by rubbing my clit; a practice I had no idea was a popular health trend until much later in life. Even after I found out Kegel exercises were a thing, I didn’t realize that my “clench-to-orgasm” method was actually just me working out. My unintentional masturbatory fitness routine has given me pretty strong pelvic floor (at least from my deduction.) I’m the queen of Kegel-ing on people’s cocks while having sex, and I’ve made myself come by only using my pelvic muscles (look ma, no hands!)

That being said, I still wanted to review the We-Vibe Bloom; both for my own personal exploration of Kegel exercisers and, because I honestly just wanted a new We-Vibe toy. I absolutely couldn’t pass on the coral colour of the Bloom; I’ve been wanting a toy in one of my favourite colours since last year.

The Bloom works similarly to many of We-Vibe’s other products, as it’s mainly controlled by the We-Vibe app, covered in silky soft silicone and has a rumbly motor to boot. It’s shaped like a little bumpy alien, with an anemia to connect to Bluetooth while it’s inside. The toy unscrews in the middle for access to the charging port, and for ability to change head weights (it comes with three options.)

Since my vag is already a Kegel champ, I went immediately for number three, the heaviest weight in the group. Compared to metal or stone options of Kegel balls, the number three feels relatively light, so I’m assuming the Bloom is meant for those who are just trying out Kegel exercises for the first time. Which was apparent in it’s use.

I tested out the Bloom throughout the course of week to see what the effects were going to have on my vagina. While I felt that I was engaging my pelvic muscles more than I would have myself throughout the course of a normal day, I saw no real difference at the end of the week. Maybe my vagina needs a heavier challenge, but, personally, I did not see any return on investment for the actual Kegel aspect of the toy. Luckily, I managed to find some other fun ways to use it via it’s vibration portion.

As a high femme, I like taking my sweet time getting ready for dates or hookups. Washing my hair, doing my makeup and cleaning my room are all intensive activities, which is (sometimes) necessary but takes away from any masturbation pre-gaming. The Bloom solves my issues, being that I can use it inside me without any supervision. I can give the app controls off to my date or online friends to tease me while I’m putting my face on. And if no one is up for the task of controlling my vulva, I can let it vibe on it’s own.

Because the vibrations are so rumbly, the Bloom can also be used as a controlled clit toy. It’s definitely no Tango, but can be a quick fix if you’re looking for someone else to take over your masturbation routine. Press the toy into your clit while a partner dictates the app from the other side of the room, or even the other side of the country. It’s perfect for letting online long distance pals play with my vulva.

The aspects of the Bloom that I like can be found in plenty other toys, so I wouldn’t recommend it specifically for a remote controlled vibe or a clit vibrator. For it’s Kegel component, I can’t necessarily say that it would be good or bad product strengthening my pelvic floor; my previous Kegel-ing experience made my experience somewhat jaded. If you’re a beginner to Kegels, this toy is a great option for you, but if you’re more experienced, then I think a glass set or a toy like the kGoal Smart Kegel Trainer. Alternatively, if you’re looking for remote controlled play, just get the We-Vibe Sync.

Thanks to SheVibe for sending me the Bloom to review! You can purchase it at SheVibe ($119 USD), Come As You Are ($142 CAD) and Vibrant ($119 USD).

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