The two most common side effects I get when I’m stoned is hungry and horny. I don’t always get them both at once, but at least one of them makes an appearance during my high. When I’m horny, I text a few fuckbuddies, and browse my sex toy collection for tonight’s masturbation menu. I always have access to getting off. What I don’t always have access to is a filled snack cupboard. I’m a student who sometimes forgets to get groceries, or gets cravings at inconvenient times for chocolate. During my snack-craving nights, I scour the house for alternatives, looking for forgotten chocolate bars and fruit. I’ve even stubbornly tried to revive a slightly freezer burnt ice cream, which was the best option in the house at the time.
The Noje W3 is slightly freezer burnt ice cream. The little wand toy, made by Blush Novelties, has a surprisingly strong kick to it but is made out of a pretty buzzy motor. I need rumbly vibrations to get off now, so while it turned me on with its strength, it was never able to get me off. The four intensity settings, to me, are: More please, Meh, My hand is vibrating more than my clit, and NOPE. The last setting frustrates me the most, because I can feel the vibration strength through my hand, but won’t translate that strength to my clit. It doesn’t get me off; it’s like I’m permanently stuck between being turned on and the start of climax.
While my spoiled vulva can’t get off to the Noje W3, there’s actually a lot that I like about its design. It has a removable silicone cover on its head, which I can take off to clean at my convenience. It’s rechargeable and waterproof, which are actually amazing features for how cheap the toy is. The handle is curved ergonomically, and the head has one of those squishy, rotational pads so you can move it to your convenience.
This toy isn’t for me, but because of it’s general decentness, it could easily be a good toy for someone’s first external vibrator. It’s 36 bucks, so it’s not a total loss either. Just like the snack situation, if I didn’t have any other sex toys in the house, the W3 could be workable if I was desperate. If I had never used an external vibe before, this would have probably gotten me off. However, when I’m surrounded by wands like the MWR or the Doxy, it will never seem like a good option.
In short, if you’re like me and you like strong rumbly vibrations, do not get the Noje W3. If you’re looking for a waterproof wand, get the Jimmy Jane Iconic Wand instead. If you have never used an external vibrator before or are looking for a cheap, waterproof fix, this wouldn’t be the worst > $50 option.
Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me the Noje W3 to review! Use code REDHOT to get 10% off your order there!