Review: The Cowgirl

When I first started having sex I wasn’t confident enough to enjoy riding partners with penises in the cowgirl position. It was both a body anxiety and a sex skill anxiety; my entire fatness felt exposed and I wasn’t exactly sure what the fuck to do with my hips. I could practically imagine my partner seeing me as I do when I accidentally open up the front camera on my phone, except complete with a belly, arm fat, love handles and genitals. Skill wise – I just wasn’t good at it, because of lack of practice due to the former reason. Missionary was what worked best for me anyway, so I’d stick to that (and doggy) unless a partner would request cowgirl. I would do it, focusing on my partner’s pleasure until I rolled off to get fucked into the bed.

Luckily, over years of grandiose self-care and confidence boosting, I’ve managed to master becoming confident with my belly and my riding abilities. It was a slow and subtle process (one I barely noticed tbh), but one day I found myself having no woes about climbing aboard. It still wasn’t the most amazing position in the world for me, but I could do it with self-assured gusto. That was until I got my IUD.

There was a couple different body changes I was expecting when I got my intrauterine device: reduced or absent periods, weight gain, and changes in hair growth. All of which did happen, but the one thing I wasn’t expecting was how much better the cowgirl position felt for me. I’m not sure if it’s the physical placement of the device, or how the hormones affected my vagina, but riding someone with a penis in cowgirl feels eons better than it did pre-IUD. I’ve found myself fantasizing about straddling penises, sitting in laps and hopping on top, all the damn time. This slowly growing lap sitting kink has been encouraged by my submissiveness too; sitting in a daddy dom’s lap and feeling their cock grow underneath me is just ughhhhh, a good thought. ANYWAY, I really like the cowgirl position now during sex. Like really, really like it.

Even with my newfound love of straddling, my masturbation routine doesn’t typically involve riding anything. There are sometimes when I have an intense craving to ride a dildo, like when my Erotic Exotics Halfling arrived into my life, but other than that I like to lay back and relax. Because of that, when the Cowgirl, a rideable sex machine/vibrator, ended up at my house for my relaunch party, I wasn’t too keen on using it. I had quickly tried Epiphora’s Sybian last year when I was travelling the West Coast, and it felt like a very unsexy rocket ship, so because the two are so similar, I really didn’t think the Cowgirl was going to be able to get me off.

The Cowgirl isn’t a unique style of rideable sex machine, following the rounded shape and vibration stylings of the Sybian fame. Other companies, like Motorbunny, tried their hand at mimicking the Sybian before the Cowgirl but weren’t as successful. The Cowgirl sets itself apart by its vegan leather aesthetics, with added elements of handles for portability and a slip-resistant silicone base. It’s basically a much more luxurious upgrade, which is where my hesitation came from initially when remembering my experience with the Sybian Piph owns. The Cowgirl is so much more aesthetically pleasing, but will it feel good in use?

But wow, it actually did. I straddled up, relaxed into it and ended up riding the 28-pound piece of machinery to orgasm. My lap sitting fantasies came flooding back into my brain as I increased the vibration speed (the first level sounds louder than it feels so it was quickly skipped). The vibrations are overwhelmingly rumbly and intense, spreading over my entire vulva and butt. It did take me a long time to come in first use, as my body wasn’t used to masturbating in that position, but when I got there, oh did I come hard. It was an overpowering full body orgasm that left me sweaty and panting, truly fulfilling my need for lap sitting for the time being. My favourite was the midway dash on the dial; the right amount of intensity to get me off without overdoing it.

Two matte silicone attachments come with the Cowgirl: an external-ish nub one with ticklers called the Rawhide, and an insertable piece with ticklers called the Wild West. The Rawhide was a favourite of mine, as the nub could be used to sit on or put my clit against. When inserted, I could bend over and brush my clit against what I call the tickers, a series of minuscule nubs created to make a texture. I was sceptical how they would feel but I really enjoyed having them against my clit as I ground into the machine. The Wild West attachment’s insertable part reminded me of the shape of the Lelo Ina 2, which is a generally good shape for G-spots and prostates. You can make the dildo part rotate via the remote if you’d like, but I hated the sensation it was creating – it felt like a tame whisk was rotating in my vagina. I turned it off most of the time.

In terms of positioning, the Cowgirl is pretty comfortable; it’s padded seat supporting my fat body without worry (the weight of the toy helps in this area). After longer sessions with it, I did feel my back start to ache a bit, but equally so as if I was in the same position with a human beneath me. However, I’m a generally able person when it comes to the cowgirl position, so if you’re someone with hip or knee issues, like my friend Kate, this will probably be a toy you’ll want to avoid. Check out Kate’s review for her experience.

The Cowgirl is probably one of the strongest vibrators out there, and with that title comes an unavoidable sound. This vibrator is so loud it, you can hear it’s vibrations (even on the low levels) through my entire house; it’s not a subtle toy. When it was on the floor in my living room  I honestly think that the tenants below might have been able to hear it rumbling away. Putting it on top of my bed muffled the sound some, but I still had to wait until my housemates were at work before turning it on to use.

The downsides of the Cowgirl don’t stop at the sound: the machine is heavy, extremely expensive, and its branding isn’t inclusive. As I mentioned before, the whole machine is 28 pounds, and it’s dimensions are roughly the size of a big footstool (16.7” by 13.4” by 10.9”). If you’re looking for a travel-friendly sex toy, this rideable one isn’t for you. Additionally, the Cowgirl is $2000 USD. That’s more than four times my rent and isn’t a feasible sex toy option for me (and a LOT of other people) at all. Unless you have a LOT of disposable income, there’s really no need for the Cowgirl to be on your shopping list.

Lastly, the branding surrounding the Cowgirl’s release was super gendered! A PR rep mentioned to Kate and Bex during their visit to the Cowgirl’s exhibit at the Museum of Sex that the toy was meant specifically for women (they meant cis women). Obviously, all women do not have vulva’s and all people with vulva’s aren’t women, so this wasn’t okay for them to state. Their website and current branding have been seemingly gender-neutral since, so I’m hoping they heard some of the feedback expressed by our community. The name of the brand itself is also gendered, and while I do get the Cowgirl’s name is based on the position, I think it would have been a better move for them to go with a neutral branding.

I enjoyed all my orgasms with the Cowgirl, but that doesn’t make it a perfect sex toy. Would I buy this if I was super rich? After testing it, most likely. I love masturbating with a toy that I can ride. Being able to sit on the machine has allowed me to change up my masturbation routine and live out my lap sitting fantasies. Would I buy it now? Haha no. I can’t imagine spending that much on a sex toy at this stage in my life.

This post was sponsored by the Cowgirl! All writing and opinions are my own. You can purchase the Cowgirl at SheVibe for $2,000 USD.