Being touched, or touching someone else, is one of the most personal acts we can do, and I’m even talking in non-sexual ways. Brushing a partner’s hair, giving a friend a well needed hug, or holding hands with your lover are all intimate ways of expressing feelings to those we’re close with. No matter the context though, when someone wants to be touched, we tend to assume we know how they like to be touched. Asking consent is something society is slowly normalizing, but I think we should be expanding these conversations to include more specifics too. Partially inspired by Kate Sloan’s personal instruction manual, I wanted to practice exploring my own specific needs in regards to touch by going body part by body part. Here’s my findings, and a full list of the ways I like to be touched…

Face / Head

Cheeks

• Two hands of someone I’m into gently cupping my face when they’re trying to make me feel cute, or reassure me is so
• If I’m feeling flirty and submissive with someone, I’ll let them pinch my cheeks when they’re teasing me. It makes me feel small and cute.

Lips & Mouth

• I love kisses of all types (pecks, smooches, french kisses, hardcore make outs), as long as they’re controlled. If someone is too aggressive and sloppy, I no longer want to kiss them anymore. Kiss me right and I probably will
• I feel so sexy when someone holds my head and traces their fingers against my lips.
• Lip biting is something I love to receive and give while making out. Just little nips here and there can ease the situation. It’s so natural to me that if I have a partner who’s not a fan, I need to remind myself if I haven’t kissed them in a while.
• One thing I truly hate, and it’s probably one of my big “no”s in this post are fingers being forced into my mouth. I can suck on a finger lightly once and while, but I don’t want your unwashed knuckle attempting to lodge its way into my throat.

Nose

• Nose nuzzles always give me butterfly feels while cuddling with someone I’m crushing on.
• If I’m in a submissive headspace, nose boops by a dominant partner make me feel so happy and cared for!

Head

• I can be protective of my hair from most people – so if you get the change to play with it, you’re pretty special. I especially love when it’s pulled during makeout sessions, or when someone is fucking me from behind.
• One of the ways you can tell me I’m a good girl is by patting me on the head.

Torso

Neck

• Let’s start with the obvious: choking!! Ugh, it gives me so many feelings. Making out with someone and having them slowly test the waters by lightly gripping my neck, then retreating, give me the biggest moans. The build-up is the hottest part for me.
• Neck kisses and sucks are also a high aphrodisiac for moi. Why does getting hickeys feel so good??

Breasts & Nipples

• My nipples have unique sensitivities – sometimes, usually before my period, they’re VErY sensitive, but most of the time, they don’t produce too much pleasure for me. When they are sensitive, I love them to be nibbled, sucked (especially in roleplay contexts), and twisted.
• Jiggling and squishing my own tits is super fun (especially if it’s for a video), but usually, if someone else is doing it, I’m not much of a fan.
• I’m super down for someone to slide a cock between my tits to fuck them, but mark my words I don’t get any pleasure from it other than I know it’s making you feel good.

Shoulders & Arms

• Gentle touches on my arms during conversations with someone are such lovely little reminders of human connection.
• Being touched on the shoulder can be an oddly intimate gesture.

Back

• Now the massages I’ve had by partners in the past will never be as good as masseuses from Tantric Goddess London, but I still love them. Being rubbed down from someone I like, whether above or under clothes, are some of my favourite moments. I actually have a whole thing of coconut oil beside my bed for such moments.
• Being touched on the small of my back makes me feel really nice.

Belly

• Having your belly touched as a fat girl can be a touchy subject (no pun intended). I’m very particular about how I like it handled. I really like it softly caressed, and rubbed, and with I’m someone I really trust they can do so even while I’m riding them.
• I hate having my belly aggressively grabbed and groped though. You’re going to get told off if you do that.

Bottom Half

Butt

• Butt rubs are so important to me, I talk about them in my dating bios. I like rubs on my butt right after spanks especially.
• One of my favourite public displays of affection is having my butt grabbed. It feels really primal and makes me instantly know the person doing so (consensually), owns me.
• Whether I’m over someone’s knee, or while I’m being fucked from behind, a nice hard spank by a lover’s hand (or impact toy) can get me the wettest. I love hard, rhythmic hits that I can feel deep in my pussy.

Thighs

• My thighs are sensitive babies, so while I don’t like them hit in any kind of way, I do like them rubbed and caressed.
• I also love them grabbed a bit, especially during makeouts, or other activities that require roughing me up a little bit.
• Most of all though, I love when my knees are pushed open and my thighs are separated for an inquiring hand, tongue or cock to make its way through.

Feet

• Ugh, I love a good foot massage/rub. Someone I went on a date with gave me one (in a non-sexual way) recently. It was a really cute bonding moment and felt really nice.

I’m going to leave genitals off this list because what I like and dislike in regards to being touched on my vulva and asshole deserves a post of its own if anything! Feel free to use this post template as a way to connect with your own body by analyzing the ways you like to be touched. Doing this exercise helped me verbalize some things I didn’t realize I needed to say.

This post was sponsored by Tantric Goddess London. All opinions and writing are by yours truly (as always)!