When I got the email announcement for today’s toy from SheVibe, I practically tripped over myself trying to write the email back. I could feel the excitement and electricity bolting out of my fingertips as I typed my reply. “I must have this toy” I said to myself. Luckily, the SheVibe team are babes and happily send it along to me immediately. That was that, I was going to own a dildo sword.
In high school, I was much more of a nerd than I am now. I played Magic the Gathering, saw every Marvel movie (they lost me after Thor), and was obsessively into Harry Potter. Over time, my nerd sensibilities waned, but I will still say that The Lord of the Rings trilogy are some of my favourite films ever made, and I love Game of Thrones. Safe to say bearded dudes wielding swords are straight up my alley. While the fantasy realm doesn’t come up as frequently in my day-to-day life, or sex life for that matter, when I saw The Realm dildo sword collection, I immediately wanted it to fill that little nostalgia pocket in my heart.
The Realm is a collection from Blush Novelties that features four silicone dildo designs, each with a vac-u-lock hole, and a sword handle with a locking attachment. All pieces are sold separately, though SheVibe allows you to bundle the sword hilt and a dildo for a discount. The four dildos vary in style, length and girth; three of them are realistic cocks with at 7, 7.5, and 8 inches a piece, and the fourth style is a blue (or red) “dragon skin textured” dildo called the Draken, which is 7.75”. What’s disappointing though, is that is all the realistic dildo designs only come in one colour: “caramel”. We definitely don’t need any more “vanilla” representation in this market, but I would have loved if Blush would have supplied a darker tone for their initial release of the Realm. Blush should have catered to fantasy fans of colour as well, especially considering medieval and fantasy media is often whitewashed in the first place.
I was sent the sword, and both the 7” and 8” dildos; and I must say, I’m quite a fan of everything I received. The dildos are probably some of my favourite realistic ones I’ve used in recent memory; I actually can’t tell which one I enjoy more. The Realm 7 Inch Dildo is a bit more realistic, with more intricate details down it’s shaft and head. It’s pretty straight with the ever so slightest curve upward with an average sized head for its size. The Realm 8 Inch Dildo, on the other hand, it’s a more cartoonized version, with bigger, less detailed, features, bulging veins, and a very prominent head. Both were able to overwhelm my G-spot, but I must say I had more squirting action with The Realm 8 Inch Dildo, probably because of its slightly hooked head.
While the dildos are amazing by themselves, the genius part of the Realm collection is the sword hilt and “lock on” compatibility. The sword allows for users to experience a much more comfortable grip when they’re fucking someone, or themselves, with a dildo. I often get hand cramps because I’m holding a circular flared base while I’m fucking myself, so adding a hilt to the conversation made it extremely easy to use these toys. Extending the physical length and reach of sex toys is something fat and disabled activists within the sex-ed community have been pushing for, so I think the Realm Drago Lock on Sword will help with creating a more comfortable masturbation experience for many. You can also use other “lock-u-vac” compatible dildos with this sword hilt.
Blush recommends using some lube on the locking attachment, and inside the dildo hole before putting them together.
Except… the Realm Drago Lock on Sword is $80 USD. Now, I expect some dildos to reach that price, but the dildos by themselves are $40 to $45 USD. Are you kidding Blush? $80 for just a sword hilt? I’m so confused as to why it’s that price by itself. Is it made of Valyrian steel?? Luckily, when you buy a combo kit (the Realm sword hilt + one the Realm dildo), you do get around a $20 off discount, which makes it slightly more affordable.
I really enjoy my parts of the Realm collection, but I hope to see Blush release more skin tone colours for their realistic dildos in this line in the future, and hopefully an explanation as to why that sword price is so high. It’s a unique toy in terms of aesthetic and execution, and I can’t deny the dildos feel amazing. I think the Realm dildos and sword would be great tools for any Game of Thrones, Lord of The Rings, or other fantasy media lovers!
Thanks to SheVibe.com for sending me The Realm Drago Lock On Dragon Sword Dildo Handle, The Realm Realistic 7 Inch Silicone Lock On Dildo, and The Realm Realistic 8 Inch Silicone Lock On Dildo. You can get the Realm collection from them through my links throughout this post!
