I feel like I’ve recently passed a milestone in my sense of self. Entering 2020, I’m feeling more enlightened, matured in energy, and secure in my wants & needs. Personally and professionally, I have a feeling this year is going to be amazing for me. As if I’ve passed a new, recently discovered life landmark, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on how I’ve changed in the past two years. As each passing 12 month time period gets added to my belt, I tend to forget how much I can discover about myself in a seemly short amount of time. I was so secure in Me when I started this blog four years ago, and despite that sense of assurance not feeling like it’s changed, I’m here opening new third and fourth eyes every month.
I started porn two years ago, but 2019 was my first full-time year in the industry. Not to say working in porn has ~changed my life~, but being a sex worker has shifted my being in ways beyond in which I thought were possible. Since transitioning from full-time blogging to full-time NSFW content creation, I opened up avenues to a more empathetic understanding of people. My open mindset has endured being broken and rebuilt to become it’s current, more expansive state. My eyes, ears and mind are awake.
So what has changed…
Absolute Femme Top Energy
Through my custom video work, and through my own efforts of trying to expand my content, my brand has slowly but ever so surely shifted to being top-heavy. That’s right kids, ever submissive Suz is a domineering Femme Top as Gwen Adora. And I’m so fucking good at it. Sensual domination is my new weapon, and I wield it with the grace of a freshly graduated master. I’ve been so comfortable in this new role that it’s even dripped its way into my personal sex life too, and, oh, I’m not complaining.
Call me Mommy
Since discovering this wonderful duality of my kink life, I’ve also come to a conclusion – I’m not a Switch. The title meant for those who “switch” between domination and submission, doesn’t quite have the ring to it I like. I’m either Mommy Goddess or baby girl, nothing in between, personally speaking. Professionally though, I wear all sorts of power-figure hats – from Mistress to Teacher to Mommy (a fan favourite), I’m everything you could dream of.
I no longer identify as heteroromantic
A controversial identity amongst the LGBTQIA2+ community, I used to believe I was only attracted to women sexually (throwback to my old swingers blogs), and identified as bisexual heteroromantic. Since starting my career path in porn, I’ve been lucky enough to be in the graces of so many beautiful and talented women that my bi ass couldn’t help but get develop harder crushes and even actual feelings. I actually got to spend a whole three days being very gay with this girl I like when I visited her in NOLA in November. I id as fully bisexual & biromantic now babiessss.
And what’s the same?
I’m still a lil bitch hucow
My submissiveness does make it to the camera still, and that’s often in the form of me in cow ears, and mooing. The past year, I let my friend Annabelle Rogers fuck me up by transforming me into a hucow for her own dirty needs. It was the most intense scene I’ve filmed, but wow did Annabelle make some personal fantasies come true for me! My fans also love making me moo on my Twitter, for all to see.
Threesome Fiend-ing
Ok, so this is the one that surprises me the most… When I started this whole journey, threesomes at swingers clubs were my foray into sexual exploration. I put myself out there, trying to find (decent) couples to play with and learning a lot about non-monogamy and my sexuality. That’s where my queerness was first explored, that’s how I got comfortable fucking multiple people at the same time. At the time, I thought of it as more of a leaping off point, but it ended up being a foundation to my sex life even now. I still love threesomes, and even without trying, rad couples/pairs/individuals find their way into the same beds as me. And the sex is so much better now that I actually am invested in, and have crushes on the couple that I’m boning. [Insert “who would have thought, not me” Paul Rudd gif]
Iconic Travel Sex Stories
My travel stories have always carried chaotic sex demon energy. And they still do, but now they’re even more intense – egged on by my fellow sex work friends and community. Last year I traveled to Vegas (AVN), Jamaica, Miami (XBIZ), LA (the Pornhub Awards), New Orleans, and West Palm beach in pursuit of collaborations. Most ended in me getting fucked down the night/day before my plane ride home, and all brought new connections & chemistry. It’s actually pretty funny – I had a lot of sex last year, but it was almost all condensed to my travels. I can’t wait to be back on the road sometime soon.
I’ve come a long way from the baby slut Suz 2.0 days. I’ve truly blossomed into such a bold and powerful butterfly. Not that I wasn’t one before, but now more than ever I’m connected to my core hedonistic beliefs and authentic self. Sex work and kink have opened up so many new layers of self-acceptance to me – I am so grateful.
This post was sponsored by SwingTowns. Check out their Swingers Groups. All opinions and writing are by yours truly (as always)!